They break your heart

On Sunday there was great excitement because Dylan, who is usually Billy no mates (for anyone outside the UK this means she’s on her own when we go out) had a date.

Friends were coming over to the park – yep the infamous park (see previous post) but I figured Sunday = family day all should be well – and bringing their dogs.

It was a gorgeous morning, cold with a clear blue sky, perfect . Except, Dylan decided she didn’t want to go and went into a major sulk.

The minute I got her coat, harness and lead, my stubborn, wilful little puppy ran. Which actually means she did circuits of the dining room table, her little ears flapping and her chubby Welshie bottom wobbling. With me chasing her, harness and lead in hand telling her she was going to meet friends and she’d have a lovely day!

If you’d heard me, you would never have guessed this time last year I was running several magazines, going to Downing Street on a regular basis and doing high level presentations to ad agencies!

Now I am chasing a puppy round a table and trying to reason with her as if I was in a management meeting.

Mmmm… let’s think, who’s the mad one here!

In the end I gave up. Well I had to, as to be honest, the room started  spinning after the twentieth lap. Dylan was loving this game. I thought I was going to pass out!

Then an ally arrived in the shape of Pixie, my tortie and white cat, who takes no prisoners,  and has a love/hate relationship with Dylan – meaning Dylan wants to love Pix and lick her, usually her backside, which freaks Pixie out. But given Dylan’s taste for anything in the cat litter tray – is hardly surprising! Pixie thinks Dyls is an abomination. You can almost see the joy on Pixie’s face when I take Dyls out, and the disappointment when we return. “Oh damn, you’ve brought that monster back”.

So for Dylan the opportunity to terrorise Pixie was too good to miss. Which gave me an opening to catch Dyls, slip on the harness and bundle her out the door and into the car. Yay I win – for once!

Waiting for us at the park were Maisie, a  three month old Malti poo, and Molly, a four year old Welsh terrier.

Dylan loves being with other Welshies – in fact they are the only dogs she behaves around. Maisie however does not care – Welshie or no Welshie she was out to have fun. Gotta admit I laughed when she jumped on Dylan’s back – all those times in puppy class when Dylan leapt on another dogs back – now Dyls was seeing exactly how that felt!

We did our walk and afterwards stopped for coffee.

The three dogs were playing – Maisie and Dylan puppy fighting and chasing each other. Molly joining in or giving the other two a quick shove when they got out of hand. It was still a beautiful day, we sat watching them play and then Martin, Molly’s dad looked at Dylan and said  “You know she’ll break your heart one day.”

And that made me stop and think of all the posts I have read on the Welsh Terrier fan club group I belong to. Where people, whom I have never met, have made me cry when they lost their beloved Welshies.  How all our hearts go out to them as we can relate to the pain they are feeling. And anyone who thinks dogs, cats whatever are just pets are just not getting it.

It made me think how any kind of love is a risk. How easy it is to decide not to go there, to build an impenetrable wall around your heart so you don’t get hurt,  or get hurt again. To close off to the highs and lows that love brings, out of fear. To bring the shutters down and think you are safe. I feel sad for those that do this.

You might think you are safe, but are you really living? And if you think you are, aren’t you just really fooling yourself?  Isn’t it better to take that risk?

My friend Moisy Swindell met a wise old man once who told her “There are no happy endings”, and he is right because, one day one of you will be left behind. And that goes for partner, mother, father, sister, brother and of course a dog. But as she said in her blog, moisfrenchadventure.com which I will share, this isn’t a negative its an acceptance and you should cherish every day you have together. Even if there are days (because there will be) when they drive you mad and get on your nerves.

A bit like now in fact, because as I am trying to write this, Dylan is hanging off my sleeve doing her best police dog impression!

So yes, one day this gorgeous little monster will break my heart. But every day, every month, every year will be worth it. The highs, the lows, the fun, the adventures, the frustrations, and the love I give and get from her, all will be worth it.

And I am happy that I am brave enough do it, even though I know all of this.

Because when we let something or someone into our hearts that’s the deal.